The Worst Halloween Costumes

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Only 2 days until Halloween and I’ve already seen some pretty ridiculous costumes floating around the internet. I’ve picked a few of my favorites that either made me laugh until I cried or say OMG while my jaw dropped to the ground. Enjoy!

url-2 sexy ebola nurse. is this a joke? you take a serious disease that’s killing thousands of people and make it look slutty. it made me laugh out of sheer ridiculousness. you’re protecting your calves but ebola won’t get your thighs, right?!

urla boob. not even a pair. just one boob. congrats, you’re stupid.

farmer-who-very-fond-his-sheep-costumea farmer doing a sheep. i just literally can’t even right now. guys, if you wear something like this halloween, the sheep better be willing to give it up because i seriously doubt any human being will.

weird-couples-costumes-halloween-costume-party-picture OMG THIS IS SO GROSS HAHAHA. The more I look, the more I laugh! How creepy that your man would be coming out of your vag all night?! HAHAHA OMG

Dick and Fanny This is just.. no words. The vag looks weird as hell though. I couldn’t even imagine how to explain this to my kids if we ever saw this pair walking down the street.

url-1 PLEASE DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT DRESS LIKE A BLOODY PAD. Guaranteed to make everyone vomit and leave the party. It’s so disgusting.. it’s even on his mouth, what the hell man!!!! *gag*

url-3A sexy Ronald McDonald? This is going to give me nightmares. She’s freaking me out. She even has the creepy smile going on. 😦

151676 WTF IS THIS HAHAHA Girls will take anything and make it a “sexy” something for Halloween. This kills me.

Awful-Halloween-costumes14 awful-ironman-costume-cosplay-terrible-13263055839 These two are so awesome. Homemade and Horrible. +1 to the guy drawing his own abs while busting out of his outfit that’s clearly 3 sizes too small. And the Iron Man Mask… that took real talent. Why have I been wasting money on costumes all these years? 😉

I hope everyone has a very safe and very fun Halloween this year. I’ll post my favorite costumes next 😀

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Puppy Love

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Puppy love, aka a simple infatuation or crush, is often felt by young people in adolescence. Most of us have probably experienced this at some point growing up. And most of us were probably completely “heartbroken” when our little crush didn’t turn into some serious, committed relationship before we even learned how to drive a car. 13e19d549c46ead0101c73b767adb492

As I’ve mentioned before, I started writing poetry when I was really young. Recently, I found a lot of my old poems I submitted to a poetry website well over a decade ago.

It’s so amusing to read all of these sad love poems I wrote when I was like 12. Really, Kayla? Love at 12. Hahahaha. You’d swear I had just lost the love of my life when in reality I had never even had my first kiss yet. Talking about being in someone else’s arms or missing their lips on mine when none of these things had EVER happened before. Omg, how ridiculous. I had quite the imagination!!! Maybe too many PG-13 chick flicks?!?!?! I’m going to blame A Walk to Remember, 10 Things I Hate About You, and all those other awesome late 90’s – early 2000’s movies that I spent my weekends watching (OMG the FEEEELS) e85de05d6a530439f280d42b843487c8894d2c7cbb045f4267396a2182fddeb4

Anyway, thought I’d share a couple today. The poems themselves are pretty cheesy but even cheesier realizing a little 12 year old sat at her desk in the afternoons writing these and daydreaming of boys that probably still thought girls had cooties. My mom must have started checking to see if I was sneaking out late at night… or if I was starting to sneak boys in. LOL.

Apologies

I’m sorry I can’t be perfect, but I’ll try my best anyway

I’m sorry I’m not good enough, will you ever love me someday?

I want to be with you, always and forever

But It’s too late and you don’t want me… ever

I’ll continue to waste my love on you and I’ll continue to hope

And when it’s time to move on, me and grief will cope

I’ll be sad for a long time and I’ll miss you much

But I can’t love you forever if your feelings aren’t such

I’m sorry I’m not good enough and sorry for wasting your time

I’m sorry that I can’t help it… that all I wish is that you were mine

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If I had to guess, the person that poem was about probably had NO clue I liked him. I mean.. I’m writing about wasting love on him and wishing he was mine when he was (probably) off playing football and video games and had no clue I existed. I tended to do that a lot when I was little: crush on boys that I had never talked to before lol. Oh and the part “I want to be with you always and forever” hahahaha WOW. Well I surely wasn’t afraid of commitment before even turning into a teenager! WINNING.

Empty Thinking

Sitting here thinking that there’s an empty space in my bed

And you’re dancing in circles around in my head

Staring at the clock, watching the time go by

It’s been awhile now, yeah it’s been awhile

I’m remembering what it’s like to smile

I’m empty without you here, baby

Oh, life is just not quite the same

You’re to blame, you’re to blame

Wishing on shooting stars and 11:11s

Trying not to cry, please don’t make me cry

I’ll give happiness one more try

But every song… everything reminds me of you

Of us and all the things that we would do

I miss you and it’s hell here when you’re gone

Every second seems too long

You took my heart, you took my smile

Oh boy, it’s been awhile

Okay first off.. it’s been awhile? More like.. never. It’s been never since I had been with anyone. Where the hell did I come up with this romantic shit? Although I do remember any shooting star, 11:11, or dandelion was used for wishing for a boyfriend. Boy crazy, much?!

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Well I think it’s safe to say, I probably scared the shit out of almost any guy that I was ever semi interested in by writing poems and having romantic fantasies in my head… and by just being totally creepy. Someone should have told me to worry more about playing with dolls or something. 😉 Hope y’all got a giggle or two out of my silliness!

Killing Them With Kindness

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My mother always taught me how to be the better person in any situation. Well, she tried. One of the things she repeatedly tried to burn into my brain was “Kill them with kindness.”  (I just wanted to actually kill them most of the time, but you know.. mother knows best, I guess.)

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I still have trouble with that. If I think that someone has wronged me in some way, it’s so difficult for me to forget that.. ever. Forgive? Yes. I can somewhat forgive. No matter what anyone does to me, if I am continually forced to run into that person, I will eventually quit holding a grudge and let it go. But I will never forget. I will never stop wondering when they will get what’s coming to them. Sometimes, I might even dream of a plan for revenge to make them feel the way they made me feel. Public humiliation was always my favorite 😉 I know this isn’t very nice or healthy but I can’t help it that it’s my first instinct: you hurt me, I hurt you.

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I’ve definitely gotten better at it over the years though. At one point in my life, there weren’t many people I liked or that remained on my good side. I was bitter and distrustful of everyone’s intentions. Now, I have trouble remembering if I’m supposed to be upset with anyone. Maturity and family has a way of shifting what’s important, and even though a lot of people still do things to hurt me, I’ve found it in me to try to understand why and that they probably aren’t hurting me on purpose. People are selfish and will always do what benefits them and the sooner you learn that, the happier you can be.

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With that being said, very recently I was face to face with someone that has hurt me tremendously this year. This person does not know that I found out what was said and done behind my back. At the time, I came up with at least 50 scenarios in my head for confronting this person. They betrayed me in a horrible way.. Instead of confiding in me and protecting me, they chose to partake in something that could have really hurt my reputation. So, when I ran into them, I immediately felt anger. It was so hard to swallow my pride and act like everything was perfectly fine. But I did it. It only took about 20 years, but maybe Momma is finally starting to rub off on me.

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People have always tended to leave me out. Forget about me. Choose other people and things over me. Stab me in the back to get ahead in life. Is there something wrong with me? Should I change to be more like them so we can be better friends? I tried that for years. It’s not worth it. People are assholes. And people are VERY manipulative when they really want something. But, I’m starting to find great joy in smiling at those who wronged me knowing that I would never do the same. Being the better person is a very tough road to take, and I’ve failed at it many times. (which is probably why bad things keep happening.. God must think I am SUCH a slow learner!) But this was definitely a step in the right direction. No, I will never trust that person again nor will I ever let them in again. But I can be kind and I can look past what was done. (and secretly laugh when bad things happen to them, muahahahaha)

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To anyone that purposely hurt me, though.. and probably wondered why I never said anything. Just know that I know. And know that when karma hits, I’ll be pouring myself a beer and toasting myself for not stooping to your level. 😉

8 Things I Hate About Winter

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Winter. It’s cold. It’s dark. Everything is dead. People really like this season?! Because if so, these people are assholes. Lover of all things miserable.

a2567ffe8c2f8c3b7aede66394c57bedBorn and raised in south Louisiana aka the humid tropical rainforest of the United States, I have always recoiled from cold weather. It physically hurts me. If we could just merge spring and fall together and have that weather 75% of the time and summer 25% of the time, I’d be one happy human.

The low has been in the 50s over here for a week now and I hate it.. so.. here’s a list of the things I hate the most about my least favorite season:

8) The freezing car seats. When I sit in my car and any inch of my skin comes into contact with that cold leather, I literally shriek and panic. My hands cannot move fast enough to turn my heater on to 90 degrees. My muscles don’t relax until I’m sweating. Usually the cold outside and warm inside causes my windshields to fog up. But obviously safe driving isn’t as important as being warm and cozy. Duh.

7) Besides the arctic temps inside of my car during winter, I hate when my windshield is frosted over. We don’t have those nifty little gadgets that scrape the ice off. We like to live in denial that we even have a winter over here. So those mornings when I have to wait 20 minutes with the defroster and windshield wipers on full blast are especially annoying. AAANNNNNYYY day now, frost. No, please.. take your time. I have NOWHERE important to go today..

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6) It gets dark. At 5 pm. Who the hell is done with their day by 5 pm?!?! No one. That’s who. Eat shit, daylight savings time.. eat shit. Because of you, we all gain those precious pounds back that we lost for summertime.

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5) You cannot be cute AND warm. Sorry. It’s just not possible. 10 shirts + 5 scarves + 2 long johns + jacket = Michelin Man. The WORST is when we have somewhere nice to go that requires a dress. And it’s going to be 30 degrees. Do y’all realize how little stockings help in fending off the cold? I think someone should invent leggings and stockings with heaters built-in. Just saying.

images 4) The New Year’s Resolutions that no one cares about and no one follows through with. Shut up. You’re not going to be a “new me” this year – you failed last year. Oh and the year before that. Safe to say you’re just going to be the same douchebag you’ve always been.

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3) Chapped lips. All. the. time. How are we supposed to cuddle and kiss someone with all that free time we have because it’s dark all the time IF WE HAVE RAZORBLADES FOR LIPS?!

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2) Cold feet. The floor is always cold so your feet are always cold… and then you pour what you THINK is a hot bath. You dip your feet in to check the temp and HOLYSHIT that’s hot! Except it’s not. You just poured a lukewarm bath thinking it was too hot because your feet are cold. Gahdamnit, I hate that. Nothing ruins my day like a lukewarm bath.

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1) COLD TOILET SEATS!!! Just No. No. No. No. Nope.

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Anyone else agree that winter is just the worst? At least there’s no mosquitoes in winter :-/ Feel free to share and comment if you agree with my distaste for the coldest time of the year!